Over the past two years, many people have gotten a quick course in experiencing a loss and grief. Compared to 2019, the world lost more than a million more people either directly or indirectly due to COVID-19.
During times of loss and tragedy, we turn to our social connections for support. Many have experienced tough conversations about death with family and close friends. But the challenge of living with grief is immense; there is no consensus about the best way to cope with the loss of a loved one.
Grieving is differently for everyone. And unfortunately, grief is inevitable. Those who have lost loved ones to COVID-19 have experienced more grief than if they lost a loved one to natural causes.
There is no clear solution to the difficulties of dealing with grief and loss. We all recover at different rates and mourn in different ways. Although it is tempting to desire an escape or distraction, there are important considerations to keep in mind.
Here are four important points that can help us deal with loss:
If we live long enough, we all experience the loss of loved ones. Yet despite this universal experience, we have different ways of dealing with it.
Some would rather talk about the loss where others might avoid disclosing their difficulties. Some grieve immediately while the impact of loss may be delayed in others for months or even years.
As someone moves through the stages of grief, there will be moments of sadness and mourning the loss, shifting to moments of happiness and acceptance of the loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Those around you may not understand the depth of your loss. They may say, “you should be over this by now.” It’s important that we are patient and understanding with anyone who is experiencing grief, including ourselves. We must normalize the process of grief and all its manifestations, plateaus, dips, and peaks. What can we do to find relief in our darkest hours?
After a loss, there may be a period of time where you feel numb. It is common to feel a sense of emptiness inside. Although this may be due to repression, most individuals will move through this phase and face difficult thoughts associated with their loss.
While we may want to deny these emotions, it’s important to express your feelings as they arise. Take time to cry, if needed.
Consider keeping a journal to help put words to the loss you are experiencing. This can help you move forward and mourn your loss, because it brings awareness to your inner struggle.
Journaling and noticing your emotions can help you share your feelings with others. It’s normal to have days where you want to speak to no one, and days that you want to talk about it. As you gain emotional awareness, you may grow eager to share more of your internal experience.
When you are grieving, it might be easier to hide away. Solitude is a common coping mechanism. But research indicates that our experience of grief is often eased by connecting with others.
Find someone you trust. Talking about the loss may help resolve strong feelings of grief faster. Sharing stories and positive memories can help you focus on the good times. Friends and family are there to support you and perhaps they have experienced a deep loss themselves. Mutual support can help you get through the grieving process.
Another healthy option is to speak with a Licensed Counselor. They can help us address loss without judgment and helps us learn to accept our new reality. Counselors are trained to help clients work through the pain and find healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy sessions help individuals move forward and ultimately, find closure.
Intense grief can cause basic self-care behaviors to break down. A grieving person may struggle with hygiene, healthy eating, drinking enough water and getting enough sleep or exercise. But the truth is, our emotions become even more difficult to manage when we neglect self-care.
Studies show that when we work to sustain healthy self-care behaviors, it helps us to overcome our experience of stress and grief. By continuing to devote your time to taking good care of yourself, you are providing the best conditions possible for recovery.
Self-compassion is your ally as you work through difficult emotions. Treat yourself kindly, remembering that everyone’s experience differs. Bring awareness to the emotions you face instead of ignoring them, and share your thoughts with those you can trust. While there is no time stamp on when you will feel better, practicing self-care behaviors can help to ease the burden of grief.
Laura Kuglitsch is a Certified Wellness Coach and Account Manager with Treo Wellness. She has a background in Kinesiology and holds a Master’s Degree in Health and Wellness Management. She is certified as a personal trainer, resiliency coach, and behavior change specialist. With over 15 years of experience in the wellness industry within a variety of settings, Laura enjoys teaching others about living a healthy lifestyle. She believes that living a healthy lifestyle does not have to be a one size fits all approach. Find what you enjoy doing, experience the moments and laugh along the way.
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